Sex ain’t even that good to be getting pregnant

Sex alone isn’t a valid reason to bring a child into this world. That’s not controversial—it’s common sense that ain’t common. And yet, in practice, we see people building entire bloodlines off of orgasms. They’ll call it fate, God’s plan, or “meant to be,” but underneath the romantic packaging, it’s just chemistry and compulsion.

And I’m not judging pleasure. I’m not anti-sex. I am, however, deeply suspicious of the idea that pleasure alone—especially inconsistent, partner-dependent, socially pressured pleasure—is enough to warrant one of the most serious and irreversible decisions a person can make.

When you really sit with it, this culture is playing a dangerous game. People are building families off of feelings that don’t even last through the week.

There’s a collective delusion that romantic or sexual intensity equals cosmic significance. That your body’s response to another body—your dopamine, your oxytocin, your trauma bonds—is the universe telling you to replicate yourself. This is not spirituality. This is not fate. This is hormonal roulette disguised as divine alignment. And children are paying the price.

We need to stop pretending that children are proof of love. They’re not.

They’re proof of a decision. Or worse, a lack of decision.

A child is not a souvenir from the best sex you’ve ever had. A child is not the physical embodiment of a fantasy. A child is not a reward for being desired or the byproduct of “crazy chemistry.” A child is a person. A life. A responsibility. And yet, we have millions of people bringing children into poverty, conflict, confusion, and trauma—then saying, “But we were in love.”

Okay. But were you stable? Were you emotionally regulated? Were you self-aware? Did you have a community? Did you have a plan?

Good sex—real intimacy, actual fulfillment—doesn’t make you reckless. It makes you careful. It makes you honest. It deepens your ability to think, to feel, to move with intention. It connects you to something sacred, not just sensational. If your sex life is leading you to confusion, codependency, or crisis, maybe it’s not as good as you think.

Let’s talk about how a lot of heterosexual women aren’t even having orgasms during penetrative sex. Let’s talk about how many of them are faking pleasure to appease men who don’t know how to care for a body, much less a child. Let’s talk about women getting pregnant by men who don’t believe in therapy, community building, or healing—just dominance, distraction, and dick.

Let’s talk about the staggering number of pregnancies resulting from unresolved trauma. From abandonment wounds. From generational scripts that told women their worth was in their womb, and men that their legacy was in how many women they could impregnate.

Let’s talk about sex education that skips over power dynamics, consent, communication, and emotional maturity—and jumps straight to anatomy and abstinence. Let’s talk about how deliberately undereducated people are when it comes to what it actually takes to raise a healthy human being.

Children are the most oppressed class on the planet. Full stop. And people who think the sex they’re having is good enough to justify their existence are doing more harm than good. You’re bringing someone into a world that you yourself barely want to be in. For what? Because they made your toes curl? That’s your foundation? A fleeting feeling?

And yet we’re surprised when those humans grow up angry. Detached. Numb.

Humans have this weird, toxic hope that reproduction is resilience. That the ability to continue in spite of suffering is proof of strength. It’s not. Sometimes it’s just proof of denial. We birth children into fire and act shocked when they burn. We procreate in chaos and pretend love will insulate them from it. It won’t. Especially when it lacks preparation, community, and vision.

Children are not your reset button. They are not your emotional support animals. They are not your path to legacy if you don’t even know where you’re leading them. They didn’t ask to be here. They’re not here because of vision. They’re here because two people were horny, careless, or lonely. Children are not extensions of your fantasy life.

And no— Love is not a housing plan. Love is not healthcare. Love does not guarantee secure attachment styles, regulated nervous systems, or trauma-informed parenting. Love does not pay for formula or preschool or therapy. Love does not cancel out dysfunction.

And yet people are out here gambling with other people’s lives over a night of intensity and the myth of “we’ll figure it out.”

Ironically, many animals are more evolved than humans in this regard. When their environment becomes unstable—when food is scarce, when the ecosystem shifts, when predators are near—they simply stop reproducing. They sense the danger. They understand the stakes.

Meanwhile, we’re over here getting pregnant in recessions, evictions, wars, pandemics, and the rise of fascism. As if “a baby will fix it.” As if “God will provide.” You can be spiritual and still be strategic. You can have faith and have a plan. But this isn’t about logic for a lot of people. This is about ego.

It’s about control. It’s about the deeply internalized belief that to exist without reproducing is a failure. That lineage is more important than legacy. But children are not proof that you lived. They’re proof of what you believed. And what many people believe—consciously or not—is that sex, attention, and affirmation are more valuable than structure, stability, and self-regulation.

We have to ask ourselves why the same people who hate kids, who underfund schools, who roll back child labor laws, who ignore abuse, who uphold patriarchy, who hate women, are still so obsessed with birth.

See I made post saying, “Not to be dramatic or anything, but Sex isn’t even that good to be getting pregnant,” it went viral and these were my most consistent comments:

“You must not be having good sex.”

“Well, it felt right at the time.”

“But what if you’re really in love?”

“You sound bitter.”

To me… these women sound like sex addicts. LMFAO. I’m sorry, but sexual discipline isn’t prudish—it’s protective. It’s literally what separates us from being like animals. You being horny doesn’t qualify you for decision-making. I don’t care how casual your sex is. This isn’t a morality war, and it’s not about abstinence or purity either. Have fun. Be wild, I guess. Just don’t confuse a nut with a blueprint for life. You’re rolling the dice on your future over someone so ya know gotta be more decisive and responsible about the experience.

I wrote an article not too long ago about the long-term psychological effects of faking orgasms, and let me remind you: statistically, heterosexual women aren’t even experiencing consistent clitoral orgasms. And yet… babies after babies after babies after babies—hold on—one more—after babies. For men that can’t make you cum. Interesting. Very.

Then again, if a total ban on abortions was implemented right now, women who gotta get their rocks off would still be fucking and digesting all kinds of plants and herbs hoping a baby doesn’t manifest… instead of just not fucking.

Anyways, I remember when my ain’t shit parent gave me the sex talk. He told me how the world was—not how I would like it to be. He literally told me that all sex is just in and out, in and out. It’s nothing special unless you’re either stupid in love or strategic in life. He also said men will say and do anything to get with you, because women love words more than we love actions. I didn’t fully grasp that until I started having sex myself. I truly thought to myself: This can’t be the thing making humanity continue. Not with how much manipulation, coercion, and deception is required to get it. I found out the hard way. So given how unsafe the world is, and how unsafe men are within it, self-mastery and discipline aren’t optional. They’re required. They’re the foundation for self-preservation and, ultimately, liberation.

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It’s imperative that women remove their self-esteem from men. Not just because it’s healthier—but because it’s dangerous not to. One hundred percent of men who pursue women are trying to manipulate you in some way. They’re trying to humble you, shape you, gain access, control, influence, leverage. Some do it overtly, some covertly, but none of it is neutral. Even the “honest” ones still move with intention.

This is not a call to never interact with men again, by the way, you most certainly still can. You just deadass have to accept these mfs for the way they are and move accordingly. EVERYTHING is game and the game is just perception.

For example, A guy I’ve only been dating for a brief two weeks kissed me in front of his coworkers and other guests, not only was he trying to signal to others I’m “his” but also reaping the benefits of being seen with my fine ass. Like yeah it was hot but I’m entirely not flattered by the dynamic he just established, flexing proximity can be disguised as passion. Like sir I’m still vetting you, back the fuck up! He could be the lame or creep at work I gotta find out before all that PDA shit 😭

How would I go about shifting this power dynamic back into my favor? For one, I’m not playing a man’s game in a woman’s body, that’s a losing game cause of double standards. Yet my favorite is just leaving with no closure LMFAOOO people will ask about me and he’ll have to say “idk bro she just stopped talking to me” I love it!

But yeah I give zero benefit of the doubt to male nature. If you were born male, you’ve inherited male nature. You may express it differently, but it’s there. And when given the opportunity to benefit from it, you will. Similar to how we will use our feminine energy when it serves us. But the difference is when we get played, we often lose more. Our bodies, reputations, time, safety, wombs, lives. That’s the cost of misreading a man’s intent.

So no—this isn’t just about protecting yourself from violence. That’s the baseline. This is about understanding that manipulation doesn’t always look like danger. Sometimes it looks like charisma. Like “good conversation.” Like interest. Like intention. But intention without integrity is still a setup. And when a man wants something from you—whether it’s sex, your time, your peace, your money—he’s going to try. That doesn’t make him smart. Most men are remedial, actually. It just makes them repetitive. They don’t have to be geniuses. They just have to be predictable—and women have to keep pretending not to notice.

And a lot of women do notice. They just don’t apply what they know. That’s where we fumble. The gap between what we know and what we do is where we lose ourselves. You can read all the books. You can be as educated and self-aware as you want. But until you understand that knowing better and doing better are two different muscles—you’ll keep folding.

So yeah y’all it ain’t all that and a bag of chips.