The Apologists of Internalized Patriarchy

And were back at it again

“All men benefit from the actions of violent men. It keeps women in check. It allows men to perform the barest minimum and still feel good about themselves. The existence of violent men grants "good" men awards for basic decency...” — someone from twitter

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I may be one of the few people who still uses the platform clubhouse, an audio based app, that has this podcast aura to it and I’ve been a frequent user since 2020. Ima let yall know right now… that app should’ve been banned instead of TikTok LMFAO the way men and women let their comfortability on that app truly expose their deepest inner thoughts and behavior is absolutely WILD, unmatched to the trauma dumping on TikTok.

Now I primarily been in Black spaces and every topic you can think of has and is still being discussed on that app. From kids out of wedlock, $200 dates, fucking on the first night, why marriage is declining and women sexualizing women more than men. A very unserious nefarious app may I say. Good entertainment tho. The role I’ve played for 5 years straight has been one of silence by sitting in the audience/stage or being selective with the conversations I give my 2 cents to correct garbage ideologies. I’m not known for talking on there but my presence is well known for what I choose to break my silence for (;

There had even been times on clubhouse where I’ve had men become uncontrollably emotional, because they were so in denial about their unfortunate experiences of being taken advantage of when they were minors by older women, and trying to normalize statutory rape by saying that they look like grown men and wanted it (like I said every topic on that app is being discussed in a casual manner and a lot of unfortunate experiences are normalized) I would express my condolences with them if being a victim of SA and hope they find peace. I could tell that it caught them off guard that someone was being sympathetic to what happened instead of praising them for “taking down” an older woman.

They would argue me back with that repressive laugh, mentioning how they don’t see themselves as victims so I would take it a step further and let them know that they’re cognitive dissonance is clouding their better judgment on what happened to them, and the men in the room who had similar experiences are trying to convince you it was okay instead creating a safe environment to unpack what happened.

I’ve literally witnessed this y’all and men will wonder why they have no sense of community sprinkled with the male loneliness epidemic to talk about these things. Men want safe spaces to be dysfunctional.

I just remember how someone argued me DOWN that they will indeed be whooping they kids asses too then went on to tell us how his mom threw a chair at him and thought it was appropriate because he was a “bad” kid…

anyways!

Back to the point of the title I think Clubhouse is a great app if you want to study people and their mindset and applying sociology to different demographics, and with my time span of being on there, I did exactly that and I got to see, with the conversations that were being had, how people fit into these roles with their ideologies.

So, just like in my article about The Apologists of Internalized Misogyny placing women on a meter and breaking that down, I’ll be doing the exact same thing but with a scale.

Let’s get into it!

By Me

1. Mr. Nice Guy (Low Risk, High Reward)

So referencing the quote at the beginning of the article, all men benefit from the violent actions of men, but nobody benefits more than Mr. Nice Guy himself. His belief that being a good guy will result in the reciprocation, typically romantic or sexual, is the cornerstone to his psyche. So by positioning himself as the antithesis to the bad boy, being Mr. Nice Guy gives him this false sense of entitlement that grants him the ability to do the bare minimum yet expecting recognition and accolades for it. Basically applauding a fish for knowing how to swim.

I see this played out in every dynamic you could think of. The husbands that wives have to ASK to watch or care for their children, but since he is physically and financially present in the household that’s all that is expected of him. Or the single men who feel jaded by women who picked men that are terrible for them but not picking the good men like him…

however, the issue lies not in his genuine care for her well-being, but his entitlement to her attention. He questions why terrible men have access to the same caliber of women that he feels should be exclusively for his kind. Or even the guys who feel superior to other men simply because they do not physically abuse women instead of just recognizing that that doesn’t make you good that just makes you a normal human being.

2. The Feminist Ally (Moderate Risk, Misguided Intentions)

I’m not gon lie y’all, this one was a hard rank because either they’re either passive aggressive as FUCK, which is mild, or they straight up using it as a cover to beat the hell out you when the timing is right LMFAO. The Feminist Ally prides himself on his progressive views and support for gender equality. He genuinely believes he is dismantling patriarchal systems, but his male privilege and societal pressures blind him to the full scope of the issue. Eventually his actions fall short to the Ally in his name.

They may intentionally date open minded, sexually experienced, or alluring women JUST to get upset that they are open minded, sexually experienced, and yeah yeah you get the point. They’re hypocrites. Or they may have a know-it-all attitude to them with mix of inflated sense of self in regards to women’s plights. A few donations to women’s foundations, couple pro-feminist quotes on his socials, and constantly reminding you his was raised with a bunch of sisters… but that man will indeed ask you to be more conservative under the guise of “having respect” for your relationship.

Amazing gaslighters and manipulators by the way. So by positioning himself as the antithesis to the traditionalist, he sets himself up as the “perfect” partner: the one who’s evolved, progressive, and “understands” women. But ultimately undermines your choices, framing it as concern or care. Like criticizing your fashion, your career goals, or your social interactions, so basically his outward support for women’s rights doesn’t extend into the practical realms of real-life relationships.

3. The Traditionalist “Trad-Husband” (High Risk, High Conformity)

Now this is a man who believes his sole purpose, is financially providing for his family and playing the role of protector and provider. He absolutely sees his partners role in his life as the caretaker, the homemaker, the baby maker, and the emotional laborer. His sense of masculinity is wrapped up in being the head of the household, and he might (I’m being generous with might) be dismissive or critical of women who seek independence or defy traditional norms. But playing the family man provides him with a steady position of respect in patriarchy.

This becomes dangerous for the woman, as she is outsourcing her financial stability onto her husband, putting her in a predicament of being entirely dependent on him. This creates a toxic dynamic where women are infantilized or expected to fulfill certain roles without choice. Which is great for the traditionalist cause while she’s at home caring for the kids, he busy getting his repressed desires met.

So by positioning himself as the antithesis to the Feminist Ally, though similar in hypocrisy, this man can maintain the image of being a conservative God-fearing married provider husband whilst cheating on his wife in peace with a heavily tatted cleavage baring man eater cross town!

4. The Bad Boy (High Risk, High Allegations)

I’m not referring to the cliche emotionally unavailable bad boys… I’m talking about a master manipulator, better than the Feminist Ally, the Bad Boy cosplays as a “nice guy” just long enough to lure women in, only to reveal his true self once they’re hooked. He thrives on the thrill of conquest, not connection. His game? Humbling women. He’s sexually and emotionally obsessed with breaking down women by any means. Also, these kind of men encourage women to engage in casual sex and hookups to increase the chances of her running into men like him.

They will break you down by psychologically torturing you, giving you std/aids, getting you pregnant or sabotaging whatever you got going for yourself. It ain’t just you either, they have more than 24 hours in a day somehow to be able to manage this behavior with a plethora of other women. Sexually, he walks the thin line of consent, often pushing boundaries under the guise of “passion” or “spontaneity.” He’s the guy who convinces women their discomfort is their own overreaction, leaving them questioning themselves long after he’s gone. Yeaaaaah…

So by positioning himself as the antithesis to Mr. Nice Guy, his uses he inflated sense of worth to motivate other men to strive to be this master manipulator to get some coochie, failing to realize the bad boy is a few allegations away from JAIL.

5. Incels & Red Pills (Extreme Risk, Extreme Violence)

The Incel sees himself as a victim of a society rigged against him, convinced that women reject him because of superficial reasons beyond his control. At the mild end, these guys are more about online rants and awkward interjections into women’s conversations, where they passionately explain why they’re “unlucky in love.” Their frustration usually stays in digital spaces, creating echo chambers of self-pity and victimhood. But as their resentment simmers, some escalate—turning their rhetoric into outright hostility, and at its most dangerous, physical violence. The most extreme Incels go even further, transforming their bitterness into a political weapon, male idolization, and mass violent fantasies.

Red Pill men, on the other hand, are far more direct in their misogyny, and their tactics aren’t as subtle. At the mild end, they casually throw out misogynistic comments like they’re just stating facts, no big deal. A man once told me while on a date, with all the sincerity in the world, that the violence our grandmothers endured was “necessary.” No, really…

In the middle of the spectrum, you’ve got the Red Pill podcasters, who make a living preaching about the “truths” of male oppression and treating women like transactional objects. These guys invest more in the sex industry than in their own emotional intelligence, paying for intimacy while bemoaning the lack of real, meaningful connections. But at the extreme, Red Pill men become the abusers we know all too well, using their rhetoric to justify controlling or harming women, yet somehow always managing to dodge accountability and Jail.

By positioning themselves as the antithesis to the political architect, incels and Red Pill men both reject the societal systems that they believe empower women. Incels view the political system as a tool that enforces feminist ideals, which they believe are inherently against them. Red Pill men, engage with the political system, aiming to reclaim power for men by advocating for policies that restore traditional masculinity and undermine feminist progress.

6. Political Architect (Extreme Danger, Extreme Oppression)

Last, but most certainly not least in impact… The Political Architect uses his power and influence to actively shape societal structures that uphold patriarchy. Unlike both Red pill and Incel men, the Political Architect stands assured knowing this is a “man’s world,” so he doesn’t have exert much physical energy into his hatred of women, its just a part of his lifestyle. He didn’t need the internet to convince him of anything because he knows how self governance works, and what gender severely lacks it. So this is about consistency in maintaining a cycle of oppression and protecting that. Using all 5 listed men above as pawns, in their own twisted beneficial oppression, to keep women oppressed.

If you want to understand how patriarchy operates on a macro level, look no further than these kind of men in government. They’re not just a cog in the machine; they’re the one oiling the gears that keep it running smoothly, even at the cost of others.

The Political Architect positions himself as the antithesis to the other five archetypes by using institutional power to perpetuate patriarchy, while they rely on personal dynamics or rebellion. Unlike the Nice Guy, who seeks approval through passive kindness, he secures control through policy and societal structures. While the Feminist Ally performs surface-level activism, the Political Architect manipulates laws to maintain patriarchal dominance, using tradition as a tool for control, much like the Traditionalist. He doesn’t need to be a Bad Boy or Red Pill man, because his power lies in “quiet” manipulation—creating a system where his position is unchallenged, while subtly ensuring that women’s rights are constrained under the guise of societal stability.